Jasdeep. “Arya is missing you” was the last text I sent you. It is still marked unread. 

You made me who I am. When my grades were failing, I looked at how successful you were. All the professors loved you. The only reason I got accepted at University of Calgary was because I mentioned that you were my brother.

I followed everything you did: University of Calgary, Psychology degree, Grad school, Europe. You broke the rules; I broke the same ones.

As we got older we became best friends. You would always pick up when I called. Even now, with every challenge, I ask myself, “What would Jas tell me to do”?

Mini is here, acting as an older sibling when I’ve needed you. Pravir is filling in as my best friend. He is exactly the man you had dreamt of him becoming. We are all still working to make sure you are proud of us. 

I will always be your Tinku and you will always be my Guddu. I hope I get to see you again. Life seems too cruel to never be able to see you or Mom again. 

***

Mom. You gave everything you had for me and Jasdeep. You didn’t deserve the pain that was given to you, but you never let it stop you from doing your duty. 

You worked three jobs to pay off the house that raised us and still made sure we were succeeding in life. 

I’ll never forget how upset you were when I quit my job to start volunteering full-time. I could see how worried you were for my future. I can never fathom how much you loved me. I always teased that Jasdeep was your favorite son, but it broke my heart when I went through your purse the day you died and only found a picture of me in there.

I think about all the amazing moments you are missing with Arya, but I see so much of you in her. She looks and acts like you. I hug her extra tight because I see you in her. I hope to be as good a parent to Arya as you were to us. 

Not a day goes by where I don’t negotiate with God to be able to see you one more time. Just one more hug — that’s all I ask for. 

***

It’s fitting that you both went together within a span of six weeks. It gives me comfort knowing that you are together, holding hands somewhere. Hopefully, you are waiting for me to join you as soon as God wills it. I’m always yours.